Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
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No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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