I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i think i have two assholes
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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