Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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