hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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