How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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