woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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