I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize