If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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