listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
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Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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