The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
