i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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