What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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