can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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