its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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