Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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