He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
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I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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