you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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