everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
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Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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