By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think my vagina is haunted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize