It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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