your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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