he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
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He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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