I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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