We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize