If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize