Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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