The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize