I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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