yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize