his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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