We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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