i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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