Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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