we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Never underestimate the power of titties
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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