i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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