you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize