plz talk dirty to me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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