so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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