The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I met the friendliest cop last night
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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