her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize