I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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