covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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