how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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