mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize