i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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