What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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