puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize