I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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