I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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