When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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